Paul's flight report for
Swiss International Air Lines
Flight LX288
ZRH - JNB / Airbus A340-300
Flight Time: 10hrs 20minutes
Business Class

General Impression: 🐑🐑

Before the Flight :
Check-in Process: 🐑🐑🐑🐑
Transit Counter: N/A
Lounge: 🐑🐑🐑🐑
Information: 🐑🐑🐑🐑
Boarding @ Gate: 🐑🐑
Staff @ these points: 🐑🐑🐑
Boarding in Cabin: 🐑🐑
Welcome Drinks: 🐑🐑🐑🐑
Punctuality: 🐑, 40min delay

During the Flight :
Food presentation: 🐑🐑🐑
Food quality: 🐑🐑🐑
Drinks: 🐑🐑🐑🐑🌿
Service Procedure: 🐑🐑
Amenity Kit: 🐑🐑🐑
Entertainment System: 🐑🐑🐑🐑
Seat Quality: 🐑🐑🐑
Legroom: 🐑🐑🐑🐑
Lavatories: 🐑🐑🐑
Cleanliness: 🐑🐑🐑
General Atmosphere: 🐑🐑
Announcement Pilots: 🐑🐑🐑
Announcement Cabin: 🐑🐑🐑🐑
Cabin Crew: 🐑🐑

After the Flight :
De-Boarding: 🐑🐑🐑🐑
Baggage Delivery: in Transit

—-
🐑 = bad, a lot of work needs to be done
🐑🐑 =not good, you will be busy with corrections
🐑🐑🐑 = good & normal, nothing special
🐑🐑🐑🐑 = high level, but the icing on the cake is missing
🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑 = topnotch, leave me here!
🌿= Half a Point/sheep
—-

First of all, a pure disappointment from A to Z.

On the Ground:
Check-in was super fast and efficient and it was done in a breeze. No queues, no waiting time and the agent was super friendly and helpful. He was interacting with us all the time.

No queues at the security checkpoint either. For the first time in a long long time we had super unfriendly and grumpy staff. This is not usual for Zurich Airport and I hope it will not become the new normal.

Our flight was scheduled to leave from Terminal D. As we were quite early at the airport and the lounge in Terminal D is super small we decided to go to the Lounge in Terminal E.
Thanks to the Star Alliance Gold Status we were able to use the Senator Lounge which includes the Whiskey Bar 28/10.
They had a really nice choice of food and it was really good. Lots of drinks available and the Whiskey bar is simply amazing.

The gate was attended very early. Unfortunately our flight got delayed twice. First by 20 minutes and then for another 15 minutes. If I would have got the push message from Swiss on my phone I wouldn't have known. No announcement from the gate crew or anything alike.
Staff was ok. Not really motivated or friendly.

Boarding announcements were made and priority boarding was conducted.

The crew was present in the cabin whilst boarding but friendly is completely different.

The seats were equipped with a blanket & pillow as well as a headphone.

Welcome drinks (champagne, juice, water) were distributed as well as hot towels.

Some of the passengers did receive the menu for dinner some not.
They finished the distribution of the menus in the air and took all orders.
Once back in the galley the must have recognized that they have distributed the wrong menu cards (Johannesburg to Zurich instead vice versa). So they came through the cabin and collected all menu cards again, distributed the new ones and took the new order. And then....

Inflight:

Nothing happened.... After an hour and ten minutes in the air they started with the service.

The seats are comfortable and ok and each row is equipped with 5 seats. Either in a 1-2-2 or 2-2-1 abrest.
We choose two seats in the middle of the aircraft so each of us had direct aisle access.

After a full hour and 10 minutes they started with the service.
Drinks were distributed followed by a full-size tray with first course, salad and cheese.
Empty plates were collected and then.....
Nothing happened!!!

The hot meals were distributed 2 hours after take-off. The food tasted good and was enough for the time of the day or better said night. But it was nothing special or anything you would have said wow.
They didn't collect the trays before serving dessert because they wouldnt have enough space in the trollies at the moment.
Chocolates were distributed after the desert.
After the service they did pass with duty free and then switched off the lights for a night's rest.

The crew in simple words was a complete disaster. A no go for business class a disgrace for Swiss and all other cabin crew members.
Only one of them was trying to interact with the customers. One of the German flight attendants had less emotions than a bag full of stones and the German female purser in business class was simply useless. I know after talking to them about the poor service that they had an introduction in the galley but this is no excuse about their personal attitude and performance.

Bathrooms were cleaned throughout the flight and always refilled.
The amenity kit is ok and what I like most is the innovation Swiss has concerning them. Swiss is the only carrier who tries to be different. Once it is a hat, an iPad cover and now they work together with Victorinox on different products.

The kit has the regular content. Socks, eyemasks, toothbrush etc.

The inflight entertainment is good and the screens are really big for business class. The system reacts very fast and is super reliable.

The aircraft would have been equipped with wifi. As it was a complete night flight we did not use it.
Prices for wifi are insane. 220MB of download costs 59CHF (61$).
With other carriers we payed for unlimited access for the whole duration of the flight 29$.
So this is unacceptable.

They started with breakfast service about 2 hours prior landing in Johannesburg.
You could fill in the order form the night before and a full-size tray was served with all the items. Food was good but I missed a real egg dish for breakfast.

All in all a disappointing flight. Hardware was good but once again Swiss has proved that they have a massive gap in consistency delivering their service.
If this would have been my first flight with Swiss it would also have been my last one. There is other choices to South Africa with much more choices of flights.

For all my flight reports and reviews please visit:
www.paulthesheep.com

Notes:
- Paul the Sheep does not get any benefits from the Hotels/Airlines etc.
- Paul will always pay for the services in order to be able to rate freely and truly about the experiences.
-If you are interested in more details, please send me a private message and I will be happy to share.